If I ask you – How are you doing? What will be your reply to that? Most probably you would say- “I am fine. Doing good, how about you?” This is the general reaction to this question. Although it’s a nice way to kick-start a conversation, have you ever realized that there is more to this?
How are we actually? Are we to all intents and purposes doing fine? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. We often find ourselves saying that we are fine but genuinely are we at all times? A lot has gone wrong and a lot has to be corrected. A lot has been broken and a lot has to be mended. ‘How are you?’ is more of a core realization than a simple undemanding question. It requires a lot of contemplation than just enouncing subconsciously the parrot-fashion reply- ‘I am fine.’
‘I am fine’ is a bubble wrap around all our wounds that are embossed deep inside our hearts, the grudges burning inside us, the jealousy and discomfort that we are feeling for our competitors, the inferiority complex from the higher others, and the demeaning attitude towards our own self.
Have you ever asked the same question to yourself? Have you ever got any response from within? All is certainly well- this is what most of us keep on saying to ourselves. And it surely aids our broken selves sometimes but do not try to bubble wrap yourself in the false “I am fine, all is well” attitude. Pump yourself for detailed answers. Follow up with yourself every now and then like a therapist until the wound heals or the problem vanishes. You can heal your own self without the need of any external therapist.
When did you last speak to your soul? Don’t remember right? Or is it that you never did?
Do not deceive yourself with flattery as it will take you nowhere.
What is needed is TRUTHFULNESS.
What is needed is ACCEPTANCE.
What is needed is REALIZATION.
And what is needed is REPAIR.
–Truthfulness about your genuine feelings, which will happen only if you stay true to yourself. Be it grudges or hatred or demotivation.
–Acceptance of those feelings and realizing that it’s okay if things are not right in your life or things have taken a swift turn.
–Realization of the things which can’t be corrected and you have to live with the consequences without torturing yourself everyday. Start decluttering yourself from such feelings and thoughts which occupy a huge room in your brain and heart and are not letting any good vibes to seep in. Analyzing what is good for yourself and for others as well. If it is good it should come out and if not then it has to killed inside because growing weeds will only shun the growth of the main plant.
–Repair of those things which are still in your hands. Ending the bitterness which you have for certain people. Restarting a relationship with the important people in your life which you have ended long back. Ending the feelings of remorse and jealousy. Speaking out or doing something that you are saving yourself from doing for a long time now. Healing will take place eventually once you start dwelling into the sea of emotions that is flowing within you.
It is the human tendency to keep ignoring the signs that our body, heart and mind are throwing to us. Sometimes others around us feel the vibes that our unhealthy self is creating but we ourselves remain unknown about those. I am writing this out of experience because this is mostly my kind of recluse from the world of web of my own thoughts.
How are you doing is certainly more than a question. It is a self realization think over. A discussion that you need to have over with your own self.
We mess our lives so much so that it’s hard to come out of that- safe and sound. As I have mentioned in one of my earlier blogs that spending self time is the best way of knowing yourself. Make yourself realize that you love yourself.
“Dear Self-I love you” is the most healing phrase. I have been working on the same for quiet sometime and there is a change that I have started feeling in my thoughts and around myself. People and things have started looking more beautiful than before and tensions in life are looking smaller than they actually are.
Do not be so hard on yourself. It’s okay if few things did not turn out the way you wanted or few decisions which happened to be wrong. You are human and to err is human. If such errors are hurting you then try to improve them from next time onwards but do not repeatedly keep on thinking about what could have been if you would have been. Such thoughts would not change the situation but only make it worse by deafening your mind by the repeated screaming that your thoughts are creating. Solutions to our problems come by thinking about them, but over thinking only makes them gritty.
There are things which are beyond our control and hence it’s unnecessary to blame ourselves for such incidences in life. Worrying will do everything but to heal you.
So every now and then just try to question your instincts about your mental health. Try to put the same question to you everyday that you pose to others. “Dear Self- How are you doing?” Believe me you will get such answers that will amaze you. Try taking down those answers on a notepad. Things that are at present making you unhappy. Worries that are burdening you. People who are creating a havoc in your life and what all you can do about those people and things. If something can be corrected by just speaking about those things with those people then 50 % of your worries can be wiped off. There is a lot that we think than what is actually to be thought about. Actual questions keep on waiting for the answers because false questions occupy a lot of space in our brains. There is a lot of unnecessary pressure that we are putting on our divine soul.
So start it today- Stand before a mirror, smile a little wider and ask the person standing before you- How are you doing? May be this time you will get the truthful answer from that person. Many of those responses will be life changing and startling. The only effort that you have to make is to work on that feedback as it will require your assistance in making things right and instill in you the ‘feel good vibes.’
Change your life by changing your inner world. ☻☺
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval- Mark Twain
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